Paradox

Everyone is paradoxical, i believe.

You can be drowning in happiness and at that moment, it can be the only thing you ever want to feel. Yet in the midst of it all you feel fear. Because the feeling is so unknown, you can't predict how long it will last. But you want it too. How do you explain such a thing? How do you explain an infinity of everything that you're practically lost in it all, and a part of you wants to get out and stay in the safe zone, somewhere with a more familiar feel, while another part of you wants to seep in deeper, find out what can happen next.

Everyone is paradoxical, i believe.

But what differs people is that some choose to stay that way, some take the easy leap and others choose to wonder more. We make this decision everyday and that defines us. It defines how you want to live your life.

Everyone is paradoxical, i believe.

And mostly, it comes from means of the heart. I believe we are mostly paradoxical when we are in love. In every process that reigns in it. From falling to accepting. From finding and believing. Because not everyone is lucky enough to actually roll the dice and win it all. In the process of choosing whether to roll them or not, we are most paradoxical.

Everyone is paradoxical, i believe.

Oh but don't worry. Being a paradox doesn't always mean you're unstable. It only means you're growing, and crawling out from a paradox makes you who you are. Because being a paradox teaches you to choose what you wan't to feel. And with some risks and chances, you'll end up on the right side :)

I once read this quote. It said

"If you meet a guy that makes you're heart flutter, makes you nervous with every look upon him, stay away. He isn't what you're looking for. Find a man that makes you feel protected and warm. One that you know with any circumstance will be there."

What if I feel both? 

I guess that's a gift. 

Hiraeth

Hiraeth
The feeling of nostaligia; the longing for a place you cannot return to.

There's really only one place I wished i could've spent all my years at. Or at least longer. It's the only place i long not because of the place itself, but for the people i met and grew up with. The ones I've grown way too fond at that even a small piece of them keeps me alive for the day. They are the colours to my blank paper. The emotions of my heart. The thoughts that would slip into my mind on rainy days. The faces I see when I look at the sky. A place where I can call a second home, not for the place, but for the people that had built such sanctuary in my heart to keep me going. Thank you Allah, for giving me such a place for my memories to visit at night.  I am truly grateful :)

Kilig

Kilig
the feeling of butterflies in ones stomach

You only get this feeling when you're nervously happy. And my god, it's really an amazing feeling it is. That feeling of your heart anxiously beating for someone. That sweet feeling of knowing exactly why you're tingling at the sight of them. How the butterflies make your eyes shine. The unstoppable smile that naturally shapes when you see them. How infinitely beautiful they are in your eyes. I think that's the start of falling in love; kiligs.

Turk Pics!

My last post lacked pictures, so here they are :)
Oh and if some of you were wondering, I went to Turkey under an Internationalization program under my school.

Bosphorus Straits 

I don't remember the name of this bread but they were everywhere. Best part about turkey, you can eat anything without
doubting the halal-ness cuz they all halal :D

Did I mention we visited one of the top schools in Istanbul?

That Bartuj and Tencel. Tencel is half singaporean and half dreamy <3

Spot Zayn Malik? 

Our Papa and their Papa 

What school are you from?

This is the interior of one of the domes of Aya Sofea 

These peops made the entire trip a whole lot better :)

Aint much scenery cuz i ain't a good photographer. Sorry

Turkey

If someone were to ask me where I would want to be reborn, I'd shout Turkey no doubt.

Turkey was amazing. The history, the architecture, the people. I swear every street looked like it was taken straight out of a romance movie. Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic.

I don't remember where, but it was during sunset. We were on the European side of Istanbul (if I'm not mistaken) on our way back to the hotel. The sight I will never forget. It was the higher grounds of Turkey, where it wasn't flat and the hills were packed with old houses and mosques that silhouetted perfectly against the sky. Sunset--the skies were tinted with bright yellow and orange, splashed with pinks and a faded blue gradient welcoming the black night. It was breathtaking. But what made the scene unforgettable, were the huge Turkey flags that soared with the wind. They were everywhere. The sight looked so-- victorious.

But the highlight was hands down the view from Istanbul bridge that overlooked the two sides of Istanbul, separated by the Bosphorus river. We usually crossed there around dawn. Nothing can beat how the descending sun spread diamonds on the Bosphorus river. Shimmering as ferries passed the coastal lines. With the Aya Sofea standing proud-- it was a view like no other.

This is half of how beautiful it was.

My bad writing underrates how Istanbul really was. Sorry for the lack of pictures from my own. Maybe the next posts :)

Opia

Opia means eyes and you'll never really see until you've seen enough. As so how you're mind will never really think until you've faced enough. As so you heart will never really feel until you've hurt enough. Experience changes you. And sometimes, if you look closely enough, what can change you can be laying right outside your doorstep. You're only too blind to see it.

I wan't to show you how I see the world.

Evenings.

I used to go out every evening. I'd cycle around my housing area. I love my neighborhood. It's placed below the hills centered between old villages. The air was always sweet as the wind brushed through the leaves creating a symphony of dancing branches. That soft blow on your cheek as if the world was saying hi. The graceful rays of sunshine through the trees printing patterns on the roads as you passed by. That was how I'd spend my evenings. Gazing upon the tall hills, like guardian walls around my safe haven. It was right outside my doorstep, but it was magical.